ok, ive decided to compile a list. this list will not be funny, or even interesting for that matter to those who dont have my job. here we go.
you know you are working on a crappy project when:
1. the song calls for strings and the client says "hey great, i have a friend who plays cello"
2. the song calls for drums and the client says "hey great, i have a friend who plays drums"
3. you find yourself recording applause at the end of a song, and it isnt live in front of an audience.
4. the client's girlfrient has mix notes.
5. the first conversation with the band includes the phrase "how much can we get done in a day."
6. the bass player doesn't own a tuner.
7. not only does the bass player not own a tuner, but doesn't recognize one when placed in front of him.
8. not only does the bass player not own, nor recognize a tuner, he shows up with no instrument whatsoever.
9. the drummer asks if you have any sticks.
10. the band is outnumbered in the studio by their friends.
11. while the band members take turns coming and going, recording their individual parts throughout the day, you never are given time to eat lunch or even use the bathroom.
12. when introduced to the large variety of vintage/boutique guitars and amplifiers available, the guitar player opts to use his mexican strat and line 6 pod.
13. instead of recording, the singer/songwriter takes the engineer, the assistant, and 4 paid studio musicians, all on the clock, to red robin in order to watch a european soccer game.
14. the cd release party is planned and scheduled before a note is recorded.
the sad part is, i have experienced each and every one of these. anyway, if you want to read something equally absurd, and you have a lot of time, click here.
i will add to this list, but please, if you have something to add, feel free to comment.
2 comments:
the client has no money up front, but they tell you that they will pay you once their album (film, any other project) goes "platinum"...but you have a strange feeling that nobody has even heard of these guys before...
let's see.
1. My friend Peter played cello on Black And Blue as well as Everyday's Another Turning Page.
2. Pat is my friend.
3. Safe.
4. Safe.
5. change "day" to "two years" and I guess I'm guilty.
6/7/8/9. Safe.
10. this would require having friends.
11. this would require having a band.
12. i could probably name names.
13. this could be a veiled reference to Tucano's, i suppose.
14. Safe.
2-for-14 isn't bad.
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